12 more great caddie one-liners
By T.J. Auclair · November 22, 2019
There are so many great reasons you should consider taking a caddie.
One reason that you may not have considered is that, in many cases, it’s like walking around the course with your own personal comedian.
Admittedly, that’s not every golfers cup of tea. But if you like a good time and you don’t take yourself too seriously, you might find that your caddie gets off a couple of great jokes or one-liners that you’ll employ in rounds with your buddies for years to come.
When it comes to caddies and one-liners, the possibilities are endless. It’s a topic we’ve covered before, which you can read here, but periodically – because there are so many – we like to ask our social media followers: “What’s the best caddie one-liner you’ve ever heard?”
RELATED: Here’s a look at 23 of the best caddie one-liners
Below is a new list of 12, great caddie one-liners submitted by our readers and followers. Maybe you can break some out over a round this weekend…
“Player asks my buddy, ‘Hey, where’s this putt go?’ His response, without skipping a beat, ‘What’s it for, 8? It goes in your pocket.’” — Sean Harkins
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“Irish caddie to my playing partner: ‘You’ve got a better chance of finding Elvis alive than finding that one.’” — Brian Fowler
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“When I said, ‘a cup,’ I didn’t mean a Stanley Cup.” — Kenneth Burke
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“Fore caddying and the player rips one into the trees. Caddie yells back, ‘F*** your mother.’ Player yells back, ‘what?’ Caddie screams, ‘Hit another!’” — Daniel Keefe
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Caddie: Play it one cup out.
Me: Breaking left, or right?
Caddie: Depends on whether you’re gonna push it or pull it. — Harry Golliday
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“Player asks the caddie, ‘What’s over the green?’ With zero delay, ‘DOUBLE BOGEY!’” — Greg Rost
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“A Pine Valley caddie to my playing partner, Pete, who was questioning his advice on his putt on the first green… Pete didn’t think the read was correct and asked the caddie, ‘are you sure I need to hit it there?’ Caddie to Pete, ‘ Pete, you’ve been here 15 minutes, I’ve been here 15 years, hit the f’n putt right there!’ And then Pete did and rolled it up next to the hole!” — Kirby Laughlin
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“I turned to my caddie and said, ‘Timmons, what do I need?’ He says, ‘Mister, you ain’t got that shot.’” — Ken Schanzer
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Me (after hitting my drive in the trees): Damn it, this is such an easy hole!!!
Caddie: Not from there it ain’t. — Sam Dalton
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Me: What’s this putt do?
Caddie: I don’t read putts for 9, sir. — Matt Golein
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“Best one liner… new caddie from the south on the Vineyard… member asks, ‘you OK?’ Caddie fell reading a putt on the first green. Caddie took his shades off, looks the member in the eye and says, ‘I’m tore up like a fat chick’s number.’ The member requested him every time after that.” — Michael Shaughnessy
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Irish Caddie: “That shot’s in Lion country… if you find that one, you’re lyin’.” — Harry Golliday
I’ve been a caddie for almost 20 years. If ya want some more one liners, I have some. 😎
Let’s here em’!