25 of the most significant pieces of advice you’ve ever received from a caddie

By T.J. Auclair · February 20, 2020

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Caddies are full of wisdom. The way they deliver that wisdom can, well, vary.

We reached out to our TCN Facebook and Twitter followers to learn the most significant pieces of advice they’ve ever received from caddies.

While many of the responses contained the type of dry humor you’d expect from a looper, there were also a lot of great nuggets that could help you in your next round of golf.

READ: Caddies reveal their biggest on-course pet peeves | Unwritten rules of caddying

In no particular order, here’s a look at 25 of the best responses we received…

25. “This is actually the best I’ve ever gotten credit for giving — pick your line and stroke it. Brian Wilson was the player. He said it was the best advice he had ever gotten, considering the situation. I just thought that it only made sense. But I guess that 100 things are going through your mind when you are trying to win a golf tournament.” — Edward Mickey Clark

24. “‘Play the swing you brought today,’ was brilliant.” — Chris Bourquin

23. “Lower your expectations.” — Gabriel Green

22. Australian Masters from a professional caddie when asked for tips about the course: ‘the 15th tee is the last hole you can get free Cokes, so stock up for the night on that tee.’” — @GregChalmersPGA

21. “Upon asking if he thought I could take relief from a dirt maintenance path, #KarlTheCaddie calmly stated ‘…we’re not playin’ for f***in’ green jackets here pal…’” — @the_snead

20. “You’re not good enough to get mad at yourself.” — @GimmeTheDriver

19. “’Run it out, he might bobble it’ – after topping it off the tee toward shortstop. About my all-time favorite bust to the chops.” — @burneyjarvis

18. “If you are going to lay up, f***ing lay up!” — @gfcgolf

17. “I don’t feel like raking the bunker you can’t carry, so please layup or play left.” — @N0RMANCH0MSKY

16. Waterville, Ireland: And it’s raining sideways.

Me: Is it better to miss on the left or the right of the green?

Caddie: Looks at me like I’m stupid, “Just knock it on the foook’n green!” — @Lefty112168

RELATED: The definitive guide to tipping a caddie | 23 hilarious caddie one-liners

15. “Swing hard in case you make contact.” — @UNCLEE72

14. “Dye’s Valley #2 Par 3, ‘it’s 147 to the pin. Hit it 143, it will funnel back. Hit it 15,2 it’s in the pond.’ Me: ‘I’m not that good.’ Him, ‘I’m just messing with you!’” — @Exit256

13. “When I asked my caddie at Shoreacres if he was married, he said, ‘I believe in the institution of marriage, and I choose not to be institutionalized.” — @GolfCourseGurus

12. “Slow down. Walk slow, breathe slow, take your time, you can win this, don’t panic, go through your routine.” — @jgrier4567

11. “City finals… @turk727 checks my Fitbit heartbeat rate and says, ‘time for another dip, your heart rate ain’t where we want it…’ we were lucky to pull that one off #TotalTeamEffort” — @TimLane55495022

10. “There is water on every tee at the Pro-Am. I don’t need to carry multiple bottles.” — @OTownPauly

9. “Second shot at Shoal Creek in ‘93.  I said it’s a 5, caddie said a 4. Hit the 4 to a foot.” — @Skroutyboy

8. “If you feel the wind it’s one club. If you can hear the wind it’s two clubs.” — @BNApilot

7. “’Use your putter’ — 20 yards off the front of the green at @BandonDunesGolf.” — @rashley314

6. “I had been struggling with my driver for a while, caddie finally asked on 10th tee if he could give me a tip. I said, ‘please.’ He laid the towel about 2 1/2 feet behind my ball and said, ‘don’t lift the club till you hit it.’ Hit my best drive ever. He said, ‘now go practice.’” — @billa5g

5. “Don’t walk around like ‘Sad Rocky,’ be ‘STRONG Rocky.’ (Body language).” — @gjohnsondc

4. “Boss… this is your last ball!” — @realromeoposar

3. “At Tralee in Ireland in 2004… first hole. I asked the elderly caddie for any tips. And in his best Irish accent he says, ‘what I want you to do is tee up your ball and then SMASH IT.’ This was really the only advice I got all day long.” — @tmazza

2. “Standing on a par-3 tee box I asked my caddie, ‘where is the pin (front or back)?’ His reply looking at the green and then at me, as if I was stupid, ‘It’s on the green!!’” — @BigD013

1. “If you quit after 9 they’ll give you a rain check.” — @CatfishBirddog